Summer Solstice 2014

It is 2014 and we are at the point in time when the earth begins to move to show its southern half to the sun. Tomorrow the light of day will begin to become less and the darkness more. I mourn each year at the summer solstice. Why could we not have summer light all year around? It would certainly help in the cold of winter.

Last year, while I recognized this day, I did not much care. I was recovering from a broken arm and surgery to repair the break; I required lots of rest and sleep. I slept away those long, daylight hours.

I cannot believe this day is here again. It grieves me. I love to leave Vespers on Saturday evenings with the light still bright in the sky.

We seemed to have such a long winter this year. People were beginning to freak out. I have a friend, a social worker, who believes everyone in Wisconsin should be on Prozac at least six months of the year. I am on Prozac, and learned a hard lesson never to go off it again, especially during the winter, especially when I am under stress. It took me down – the decision to stop taking my medication.

We had a long winter. It only just ended. We have finally had a string of nice days, but now, once again it’s summertime. And the longest day of the year is here. I feel sad. I need a longer spring. I need long days to continue for a long time. But they won’t, I know. In just two months the sun will be going down before 7:30 p.m.

I guess the best I can do is try to enjoy what’s left of long evenings — take late evening walks; just recognize and enjoy the light and warmth after Vespers each Saturday; enjoy being able to drive to a friend’s home after work or dinner, while it is still light, and maybe even come home before it is completely dark

The trees are still full with summer-green leaves, flowers still abound, grass is deep green, young ducks still swim in the pond. Enjoy the moment, for it will soon be gone.

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Waiting

The phone is silent.

I wait for a call that may increase my small bank account this week.

I am up very early, waiting to hear

That someone can’t make it to their receptionist/secretarial job

In some school in the local school district.

I need the work.

Only for so much time can I try to write,

Try to compose.

Looking for work begins to feel useless.

I am 65 and behind on computer skills.

The jobs available are often not suitable for my skills and expertise.

I want to write. Write with a purpose.

I’m good with people. I love being receptionist.

But even clerical jobs require proficiency in

Microsoft office – Word, Excel, Etc.

I can learn these skills.

But I need on the job experience.

Tutorials only get you so far, they don’t make you proficient.

So I wait by the phone. And I try to write.

And I wonder what will become of me.

 

March 19, 2014.

Early to Bed, Early to Rise

For most of my life I have been a night-owl. That changed somewhat when I went on an anti-depressant that the doctor decided was partly to adjust sleep patterns. I decided then that I should take my need for sleep much more seriously, and I did

However, I continued to sleep late on Saturday mornings, holidays, and some Sundays.

In the past few years I have become an early bird. This was partly work-related (needing to get up at 5:30 to get to work on time). I also started going to bed much earlier, partly because I was very unhappy with my work at the time, and partly because I had to get up so early.

More recently, I have been accepting temporary assignments with a temp agency and am on call to work as a substitute receptionist in the Madison Metropolitan School District. Because I never know until early morning if there is a call for my services, I have to get up and at least shower before 6:15 (they have called me that early).

I am up this morning, because I did not know the school district was closed. But I am beginning to enjoy being up early, getting a head start on the day, feeling alive as dawn turns to daylight.

It is currently 7:47 and I have showered, had my coffee and breakfast, gone through new FaceBook entries, and written this little essay (I guess you would call it).

Feeling alive!!

Now I need to pray before the morning gets on any further.

January 2014